Bringing someone into your home to care for your children is one of the biggest decisions a family makes. A strong resume is a good start, but it only tells you part of the story.
I have spent more than 17 years in child and youth services, and I am also a dad who has hired nannies for my own kids. On both sides of that table, I have learned the same lesson: the nanny who looks best on paper is not always the one who fits your family best.
A resume can tell you where someone has worked, how long they stayed, and what certifications they hold. Those things matter. What a resume cannot tell you is how that person will handle a toddler meltdown at 4:30 on a Tuesday, whether they will text you when something small comes up, or how they will feel about your approach to screen time. That is where fit lives.
Start with your family, not the candidate
Before you look at a single application, get clear on who you are as a family. Not just the schedule, but the day-to-day reality:
- What does a normal day look like in your home?
- How do you handle discipline, naps, food, and screens?
- How do you like to communicate: a quick text, a daily note, a weekly check-in?
- What matters most to you: structure, creativity, flexibility, a calm presence?
When you know these answers, you stop comparing candidates to each other and start comparing them to what your family actually needs. That shift makes every interview more useful.
Look for the things a resume cannot show
My background is in industrial and organizational psychology, which is really the study of how people fit into the work they do. In hiring, we talk about skills, and we talk about fit. Both count, but families often spend all their energy on the first one.
Here are a few things I pay close attention to that never show up on paper:
- How they talk about past families. Warmth and respect, even about a job that ended, tell you a lot.
- How they describe the kids. Great nannies light up when they talk about children they have cared for.
- How they handle a real scenario. Ask what they would do in a specific situation from your home, not a general “how do you handle discipline” question.
- How they ask questions. A nanny who asks thoughtful questions about your family is already thinking about fit.
Check references like it matters
References are one of the best tools you have, and one of the most underused. Instead of asking “Were they a good nanny?”, ask about specifics. What was a hard day like? How did they communicate when something went wrong? Would you hire them again, and for what kind of family? The answers usually tell you more than the interview did.
Background checks and driving record checks are a must, too. They are not about distrust. They are part of doing right by your kids and by the nanny you hire.
Try a working trial
Even after a great interview, spend some paid time together before you commit. A trial day or a few short shifts lets you see how the nanny connects with your children and how the rhythm of your home feels with them in it. It also gives the nanny a chance to decide whether your family is the right fit for them. Good matches work both ways.
Give the search the time it deserves
A thorough search, with clear needs, good interviews, reference checks, and a working trial, usually takes a few weeks. Starting early means you are choosing, not scrambling.
If you would rather not do it alone, that is exactly why I started Wise Steps. I handle the advertising, interviews, and background checks, then walk you through each candidate so you can make the decision with confidence.
Outside Charlottesville? Wise Steps offers virtual consulting for families anywhere. Book a consultation
