The night before our nanny, Brittany, started with our family, I was nervous. Mostly, I kept thinking about how to make sure she felt at home with us. I wanted her to walk in that first morning and know she was seen and valued.
Since then, I’ve spent years helping other families find caregivers. But I still remember that night. Hiring a nanny isn’t just a hiring decision. You’re inviting someone into the most personal parts of your life, and they’re choosing to trust you, too.
Here’s what I tell every family I work with.
Get clear before you start looking
The best searches start at the kitchen table, not on a job board. Before you post anything, talk through:
- Your schedule. What days and hours do you truly need? Is there flexibility, or is it fixed?
- The role. Is this child care only, or will it include kids’ laundry, meal prep, or school pickups? Decide now, not three weeks in.
- Your kids. What are their routines, needs, and personalities? What does a good day look like for them?
- Your values. How do you handle screen time, discipline, food, and naps? Your nanny can’t follow a plan you haven’t shared.
- Pay. Know your range before the first interview. Great nannies are professionals, and their pay should reflect that. I’ll dig into pay in a future post.
The clearer you are, the better the match. And the fewer surprises there are for everyone later.
Remember: this is their career
This part matters to me. A great nanny isn’t “the babysitter.” They’re a professional who has chosen to build a career around caring for children, and they deserve to be treated that way.
That means a written agreement that spells out hours, pay, duties, and time off. It means paying on the books, paid holidays and vacation, and a real conversation about raises over time. It means showing up on time at the end of the day, because they have a life, a family, and plans too.
Families who treat their nanny like a professional tend to keep a great one for years. Families who don’t usually find themselves starting over.
Make a good first impression
We talk a lot about whether a nanny will impress you. But remember, you’re being interviewed too. Strong candidates have options, and they’re paying attention.
A few things go a long way:
- Be prepared. Know what you want to ask and what you’re offering.
- Be honest. Share what’s hard about your family’s season of life, not just the highlights.
- Let them meet your kids. Watch how they connect, and let them get a feel for your home.
- Talk about what you love about your children. It helps them see the people they’d be caring for, not just a job.
Then when they start, make that first day feel like a welcome, not a test. Have a written sheet with routines, allergies, emergency contacts, and the Wi-Fi password. Show them where to park, where to keep their things, and where the snacks are (theirs too). Walk them through the house. Plan to be around for part of the first day if you can.
Small things tell someone, “We’re glad you’re here.”
Don’t overlook how isolating the job can be
Most jobs come with coworkers, a break room, someone to vent to over lunch. A nanny often spends the whole day alone with small children. That can be lonely, even when they love the work.
How you set the stage makes a real difference in how long a nanny stays. Check in during the day with a quick text. Ask about their day at pickup, not just the kids’. Encourage them to connect with other nannies at the park, library story times, or local playgroups. Say thank you, often and specifically.
People stay where they feel seen.
Boundaries protect the relationship
Clear boundaries aren’t cold. They’re what keep a good relationship good.
Talk early about:
- Hours. Start and end on time. If you need extra time, ask ahead and pay for it.
- Communication. When is it okay to text? Try to keep evenings and weekends theirs.
- Duties. If you want to add something to the job, talk about it first. Don’t let it quietly creep in.
- Working from home. If you’re in the house, agree on how you’ll stay out of the way so they can lead.
- Cameras. If you use them, say so up front. Trust goes both ways.
- Parenting decisions. Agree on how you’ll handle discipline and big moments so your kids get the same answers from both of you.
And make time for regular check-ins, even when things are going well. A short weekly or monthly conversation keeps small issues from turning into big ones.
Starting well is how you stay well
The families who keep great nannies for years don’t get lucky. They start with clarity, treat the role as a career, and keep showing up with respect.
Brittany was with us for a long time. We made a point of thanking her for the little things, and there were a lot of them. Most of all, we thanked her for the way she made our kids feel like her own.
When her husband’s military service moved their family away, saying goodbye was hard. But we didn’t really lose her. Today we consider her a lifelong friend.
That’s what I hope every family gets to experience: a nanny who stays, and a relationship that lasts long after the job ends.
If you’re getting ready to hire and don’t know where to start, that’s exactly what we do at Wise Steps. Reach out for a free consultation and let’s talk about what your family needs.
